Slade's Blog » Hunting, Camping & Outdoor Humor

Farmer Knows Best

wordpress — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 19:23:06 +0000

A cocky Highway Department employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, “I’m here to inspect your farm for a possible new road.”

The old farmer said, “Help yourself but don’t go in that field.”

The Highway employee said, “I have the authority to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land.”

So the old farmer went about his farm chores. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Highway employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer’s prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and was gaining on the employee at every step.

The old farmer called out, “Show him your card!!”

His Mother Taught Him – Wasting Food is Just Wrong

wslade — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 02:13:35 +0000

Setting Up Camp

wslade — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 03:49:21 +0000

The loaded mini-van pulled into the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils.?

A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters’ father, “That, sir, is some display of teamwork.”

The father replied, “I have a system — no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up.”

The Pessimist

wslade — Fri, 21 Jul 2006 02:04:17 +0000

An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.

For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.

The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?”

“I sure did,” responded the pessimist. “He can’t swim.”